The Psychology of Stress

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The Psychology of Stress - Entrepreneur.com

"Workers are losing their jobs, employers are losing their businesses, and as credit becomes more and more scarce, everyone is losing confidence. What's more, entrepreneurs are grappling with a sense that they've lost control of critical factors that could determine their futures. Those psychological hurdles are perhaps the biggest challenges facing today's business owners..."

As a leader, do you really understand the weight that comes with title and position? The article I've linked to above talks about the psychology of stress. Here are some interesting statements from the article:

Problems

• So many of the factors contributing to excessive stress "have nothing to do with you."
• "Cognitive Distortion" causes people under "...undue stress to discount positive events, seeing only the negative."
• "When people define themselves by their business, they might conclude, 'If my business isn't doing well, then I'm not doing well.'"
• "Stress was getting to the point where I sometimes felt physically ill."
  

Article's Solutions

• Take control of what you can.
• THINK straight. Write your way through fear to help you identify thoughts that aren't serving you. Stay focused on the big picture.
• EXERCISE regularly.
• Look for OPPORTUNITIES and keep moving forward. There's a clearing up ahead.

Warren's random responses to the article:

In regards to "personal control," it's important to do all we can. However, the author states, "a sense of personal control -- the belief that you set your destiny -- is one of several characteristics shared by happy people." So what if YOU screw up? What if YOUR efforts aren't good enough? Rick Warren begins his bestseller, "The Purpose Driven Life," with the statement, "It's not about YOU." Instead of focusing on gaining "personal control," I'd recommend YIELDING control of your life, your future, your career, and everything else to HIM. Giving up my desire to control things is the foundational step to true happiness and contentment.

Thinking straight is mandatory and difficult to maintain. The article recommended writing as a means of sorting out "stinking thinking" from solid, productive thinking. I agree. In addition to a small group of committed friends, advisors, and family that can help me keep things straight, a great plumb line to help me keep things straight is God's Word. It's hard to get too far off in left field if I'm continually comparing my thoughts to eternal truth. However, whenever I run across a disparity between God's Word and my thoughts, I need to change my thoughts and not attempt to twist Scripture to affirm my patterns.

If my identity is wrapped up in anything related to my performance, I'm headed toward burnout. Even a world class athlete like Tiger Woods has some off days. What's great about life as a follower of Christ is that my identity is based on Who HE is and what HE'S done on my behalf. The good things I do that flow out of my relationship with Him are evidence He is in control. My failures are evidence I'm not perfect, but they don't change who I am.

A closing thought: 45 minutes of aerobic exercise at the prescribed heart rate for my age doesn't affect my salvation or personal worth. BUT, it sure does feel good and my doctor's tests prove it contributes to my health & energy.

Mentoring Relationships

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In a recent article in Entrepreneur magazine, Ivan Misner wrote a an article entitled, "Become a Networking Mentor." Misner encourages the practice of mentoring and specifically suggests sharing networking strategies "...you've found successful" with others. He reiterates that teaching others is one of the most effective strategies for mastering a skill.

Then, he lists the "7 Characteristics of a Good Mentor," courtesy of Michael J. Freeman. Here they are:

1. A desire to help. Individuals who are interested in and willing to help others.
   
2. Have had positive experiences. Those who have had positive formal or informal experiences with a mentor tend to be good mentors themselves.
   
3. Good reputation for developing others. Experienced people who have a good reputation for helping others develop their skills.
   
4. Time and energy. People who have the time and mental energy to devote to the relationship.
   
5. Up-to-date knowledge. Those who have maintained current, up-to-date technological knowledge and/or skills.
   
6. Learning attitude. Individuals who are still willing and able to learn and who see the potential benefits of a mentoring relationship.
   
7. Demonstrated effective managerial (mentoring) skills. People who have demonstrated effective coaching, counseling, facilitating and networking skills.

One of the characteristics that I see missing in talented people who could otherwise be a great mentor, is #4 -- "Time and Energy." It's not that they don't have the time or energy. Unfortunately, they choose to spend their time/energy on other pursuits. Developing mentoring relationships seems to be a low priority. As a young leader, I can remember pursuing a mentoring relationship with multiple, older, more seasoned leaders. One politely declined and passed me on to another member of his staff ("It's not really my gifting...") and the rest enthusiastically responded with an emphatic "YES -- let's do this!" Sadly, the relationships fizzled soon after beginning because of missed appointments, appointments cut short, cell phones ringing during meetings, and a general lack of commitment.

Based on the 7 qualities listed above, do you see yourself as a mentor? Have you benefited from a relationship with somebody who meets these qualifications? Which characteristics do you see as most critical? How can we make mentoring a priority?

Lead Well and PROSPER!

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I just ran across this article on 12 Leadership Lessons From the Bridge of the Starship Enterprise. The title caught my eye and I was interested enough to skim the "12 Lessons":

1. Be a Leader
   
2. Taunt Your Rival
3. Allow Subordinates to Speak Freely
4. Delegate
5. Plan Ahead
6. Set Realistic Goals
7. Meetings
8. Intuition
9. Creativity.

Did you catch it? The title says "12 Lessons..." and there are only NINE! Oh well, we'll chalk that one up to human error. Bottom line, the nine we're given in the article are worth the read!

Here's a priceless quote from my hero, Mr. Spock. It's under lesson #3 (Allow Subordinates to Speak Freely):

"If I may be so bold, it was a mistake for you to accept promotion. Commanding a starship is your first, best, destiny. Anything else is a waste of material." -Spock, to Kirk

I see TWO lessons in this quote. First, Spock is free to offer this counsel to his superior, Capt. James Kirk. Leaders need to create an environment around them that allows folks to offer the insight they possess. Second, Spock has zeroed in on one of the priorities of LeadersHeart -- Lead From Your Heart.What is the deposit that God's downloaded into your heart? What do you have a passion for? What is the one thing you've always wanted to do? Spock was telling his captain that it made absolutely NO sense to accept a promotion that would move him up the chain of command to a desk. Kirk was CREATED to command a starship and doing anything else would be off target.

Read the article and chime in with your thoughts. I love tying leadership to one of my all-time favorite TV shows! I'm thinking we need some "Leadership Lessons From Everybody Loves Raymond!"

Be sure and view the video at the end of the article AND click on the link just prior to the video that says "Read more about Star Trek at FastCompany.com here."

Lessons on Leadership from a GREAT lady!

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Margaret Thatcher was elected Prime Minister of Great Britain 30 years ago this week.

I just read a commentary on Lady Thatcher that included a GREAT statement:

She called on the British people to remember their history and to embrace it. She was not indulging in nostalgia so much as she was taking from a living past in order to build a better future.This is the key to leadership. Leadership doesn’t lie in poll numbers, though all politicians take polls to measure the public temperature. Leadership is about convictions with ample references to past successes and the principles behind them. If one doesn’t bake a cake without first reading the directions, how can a damaged nation be repaired without discerning what works and what doesn’t? If a people forget their history—as too many in Britain and America have done—they are then susceptible to being snookered by politicians who propose something “new.”

Margaret Thatcher believed in wisely applying the lessons learned from our past. More importantly, she believed in doing the right thing, regardless of popularity poll results. Here at LeadersHeart, I call this the "gospel according to Nike" -- you know what's right, JUST DO IT!

Most intellectually honest people aren't looking for leaders who tell them what they want to hear. People are hungry for (and willing to follow) leaders who lead from principle, who lead from THEIR HEART.

Margaret Thatcher was just such a leader -- we honor her legacy by encouraging our readers to hop on Google or stop by the library. There's a wealth of information available (especially due to her 30th anniversary) on Mrs. Thatcher that any student of leadership would do well to study.

Leadership Generational Gap?

Here's an excerpt from the back cover of the book, The Leadership Jump:

"Authority is no longer derived from positional status but is earned from relational credibility. And leadership is less about directing followers to a particular destination but rather empowering others on a shared journey. Existing leaders cannot write off emerging leaders because they work differently. Nor can younger leaders dismiss the contributions of those who have gone before."

I've been discussing this topic with a lot of people lately. Some feel there's no difference between older & younger generations when it comes to the type of desired leadership. Others feel strongly there is a drastic "generation gap" when it comes to leadership style.

What do you think? Are people looking for a different type of leader today?